Well, almost... not exactly. To be precise, twenty nine days from today I'll spend my last day as a twenty-something year old.
To be perfectly candid, I have been dreading this time of my life since I was barely twenty. For some obscure reason, which I can't remember, this age seemed to me like some kind of deadline, a doomsday prophecy of sorts. I spent my twenties fearing my thirties so much that I did not pay attention to what was going on. In the last ten years, I've made more mistakes than I care to count, I've met thousands of people, fell in love with some, disliked others, hated a few. I've had many jobs, I've made 180 degrees turns in profession and then 180 again landing me... you guessed it: exactly where I started.
I've travelled to new places, I've gone back to my home country, I have figured out exactly why I am the person I am. I've given into temptations and I have also stood my ground. I've tried many things and discarded a few from my life. Some I miss, some I never did.
And though I know talking about age is a cliché.
I used to believe that the people who rock your world are supposed to stay in it forever; then I understood that some come in, make themselves important and then break you apart, those are the ones who actually force you to become who you are meant to be.
I finally found out what my thirties were a deadline for: figuring out the person that I am, the person I want to be. Even more so, with all these lessons comes a deep sense of freedom, the ultimate liberation: living a life to fulfill your own expectations, rather than other people's. Freedom, a highly underrated word.
I'm not there yet, it is a process. Someone that I respect very much once told me that you spend the first four decades of your life meeting the person who you are, building it, forging it; you enjoy it for a couple of decades more and then start saying good-bye to it. But for now, I'm me someone I get to know better every day.
I've spent three decades on this planet, I've lived in two different countries and I've learned three languages. I am hoping to speak four before my fourth decade! I'm looking forward to it!!
Quizás somos todos seres rotos, Frágiles, Tratando de caminar sosteniendo Nuestros pedazos de humanidad, Con la esperanza de no deshacernos en la marcha, Buscando aquello que nos sostiene En una pieza.
sábado, 31 de marzo de 2012
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