Things I fear (September 2017-June2018)

I fear chickens.
I fear firearms.
I fear cancer.
I fear distance.

I fear the wind.

I fear the rains.
I fear hurricanes.
I fear not being enough.
I fear needing someone.
I fear that my dad may not beat cancer. --He didn't (May 2018)
I fear the wind.
I fear being away from those I love.
I fear absence.
I fear that the island I love turns to hell.
I fear hating what I love.

I fear chemo.
I fear hospitals.
I fear hospitals amidst chaos.
I fear hospitals after hurricanes.
I fear lies becoming truths.
I fear that my family will suffer.
I fear uncertainty.

I fear corruption.
I fear the wind.
I fear the rain.
I fear hurricanes.
I fear death.
                                                         Then, IT happened

I fear forgetting my dad's voice. (May 2018)
I fear forgetting his face.
I fear that I could have done more.
I fear pain.
I hate chemo.

I hate doctors who drive expensive cars.

I hate corruption.
I hate pain.

I hate seeing the lifeless body of the only man who was always there.
I hate that his voice won't be on the other side of the line when I call.
I hate missing him.
I hate needing him.

I fear forgetting him.
I fear who I am without him.
I fear the wind.
I fear the rain.
I fear hurricanes.
I fear it could have been different.